You want to know what is crazy? God. Plain and simple. God has ordained every aspect of my life to the smallest detail and it is wonderful.
Do you want an example of God ordaining every aspect of my life? Take yesterday for example.
I started the day by waking up in the recliner. Why the recliner you ask? Well, because it seems like I have had sick kids for about two weeks. Wyatt threw up Monday night so he slept on the couch (to be closer to the bathroom) and I slept on the recliner (to be closer to him). I woke up anticipating spending the day home with him, which made me anxious and happy. I was anxious because I have a very full plate with work currently. I am helping in another store location, and had three customer deliveries/pickups that I had to manage that day. I was happy because, well I get to spend the day at home with Wyatt and Paul!
I got up, and Josh says he is going to stay home and I am going to work! Umm, well ok. I didn’t see that one coming. I was a little irritated by that, but I quickly got over it! My amazing husband knew how anxious I was about missing work. So I get ready, which takes longer than normal days, because I have decided to take better care of myself. So I spend extra time washing my face, using a little make up, and actually doing something with my hair. Then I head out to work.
On the way to my first stop (school we work with) I’m jamming out to Life 96.5, and I hear that they are giving away tickets to an event at Western Christian with Missy Robertson and Selah. I like Missy Robertson, but not a huge draw for me, but Selah I feel like they are my best friends. Well not Selah exactly but the lead singer’s wife actually. Todd Smith the lead singer’s wife Angie wrote a book that is dear to me called “I will Carry You”. There are two reasons why this book is dear to me.
First reason: It is beautifully written for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, AND those that want to understand the hurt that people go through when they lose a child. I have graciously received two of these books since we lost Rachel last April. One was given to me right away by Awakening Grace, and one was just given to me about two months ago by my Aunt Brenda. The words that she wrote to me explaining why she sent me the book were beautiful. She read it, and it opened her eyes to understand some of the fears, anxiety, pains and joys I feel daily.
Second reason: The night before we learned that Rachel has passed away inside me, I couldn’t sleep. I knew something was wrong, and I was begging God to not let it be. I kept holding my stomach, waiting. Waiting for her to kick, waiting for her to rollover and feel her feet kick my ribs. Instead of feeling her, I felt God’s presence. I heard God, and what he was saying to me was “I will carry you”. Literally those were the words that he said to me. Those exact words.
Honestly before that time, I didn’t know who Todd and Angie Smith were. I didn’t know that they wrote that book, I didn’t know that Todd sang a song about losing his daughter and named it “I will carry you”. I HAD NO IDEA, but God knew!
So as I was driving, and Life 96.5 was going to give away tickets I decided to try and win them. I called. It rang, I got “thanks for trying, please try again”. So I called again, this time it rang, then I got put on hold! I was on hold!! But nope didn’t it. I decided to try one more time not expecting to win, but had to try one more time. So I called, and Lauren answered and I WON! I actually won! I never win anything, this totally had to be God.
That was enough to conquer the day! I was on a high and determined to do good. Once I got to our warehouse in North Sioux City, I was walking around getting ready to load up the inventory I needed to take back to my store. As I was walking around one of the workers (female) stopped me. Her words were such blessing to my heart. She said, “Allison, Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you are a very beautiful lady”. WOW, that is amazing to hear sometimes. It totally gave me an extra little hop in my stride yesterday! I have always struggled or doubted my beauty (even now typing that is weird, like I am conceited) but that was such a blessing to hear. How often do we say negative thoughts before we tell people positive thoughts? How much of our life are we left doubting and being hard on ourselves that could be fixed by others just telling us one positive thing? I am going to try very hard to be “Loud” with my positive thoughts about people. I don’t know their struggles, their self consciousness, their doubts or their fears. Maybe my one positive thing could help them overcome, and put that extra hop in their step.
God is so great, so loving, so divine, and so active in our lives. He ordains every aspect of our lives from the small to the great. Don’t doubt him, trust him, believe him, and speak positive about each other. One positive thought can change more than a person’s day, it can change their life.
God planned out my day yesterday, and today, and all my days. Even all of my days in April 2016, no matter how hard they were. He carried me, and he still carries me today.
A Hope Filled Life 